THE TIME MACHINE

 Here it is, in all its glory! The Time Machine! OUR Time Machine! My Beloved. - Dr. Korsakov 

You wanna know how it works? Well…. Uh, okay. I’ve never really… given any visitors proper instructions on how to use it in fear of the layman… well, misusing it, obviously. I suppose I can make an exception for you. - Dr. Korsakov

NOOOOO!! NO! YOU CAN’T TELL THEM ABOUT THE FUNCTIONS OF THE QUARTZ 2000! THEY’LL ABUSE THEIR POWER AND DESTROY THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM AS WE KNOW IT! - CARL 

Relax, guy! Look, I’ll just tell them the basics. What could go wrong? *wacky cartoon sound effects ensue* - Dr. Korsakov

Did you just say “wacky cartoon sound effects ensue” our loud? - Carl

Uh, no. Anyway, let us begin. First, you must turn it on—- which can be trickier than it seems. - Dr. Korsakov 

As you can see, there are no obvious “on switches”. It’s intentionally unintuitive so as to confuse and bewilder the average joe who migh—- what? The big red button? Yeah, that is the uh, ON button. Uh, note to self—- change color of the ON button to something less conspicuous. - Dr. Korsakov

Now you got this bad boy working! Good job! Now let’s see the remote! Huh? You wanna know more about how the Time Machine works? That’s a surprise. You’ll see. ;) - Dr. Korsakov

Here it is! The way it works is…. You gotta swipe up and scroll to the date of your choice, press the green button to implement your decision, and then the red button to teleport! 

You think the green button is unnecessary? Well… it’s a safety precaution. If you put in a wrong date by accident, you can undo it by waiting 25 seconds for the remote to reset back to the current day and year. This will only work if the green button isn’t pressed. If you press the red button without the green button, nothing will happen. I hope that makes sense.

I’m working on various experiments and brand new technology relating to our Time Travel project. I hope I get to show you some more finished work in the near future! For now, good afternoon, good evening, & goodnight! - Dr. Korsakov.

Our Team

 I suppose you’d eventually like to see the members responsible for the Sonder Time-Travel Project! No reason to stay anonymous! I trust you, random stranger! - Dr. Korsakov

“THAT’S IT?” WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED BY THE FACT THAT THERE ARE ONLY 6 OF US? OR CAN YOUR TINY GENERATION Z BRAIN NOT TOLERATE ANYTHING WITHOUT SKEEDEEBEE TOILET AND HOUSEHOLD MAN HILARIOUS COMPILATIONS//??>1 

Sorry for that. That was Carl. Err—- I’m not quite sure how to delete that… if I could, I would. Just.. don’t read anything he types. There’s a reason I call him Carl, and not Dr. Orff. I have zero respect for him! - Dr. Korsakov

THAT’S WHY YOU’RE A HORRIBLE PARTNER. YOU’VE NEVER HAD RESPECT FOR ME DESPITE MY STUDIES AND VARIOUS HYPOTHESES BEING PROVEN TRUE ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS. EVEN WHEN WE WERE ROOMMATES AT BERKLY TOGETHER, YOU STILL DIDN’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. YOU KEPT FRUITLESSLY CHASING AFTER A ‘NEW ELEMENT’ WITH YOUR PARTICLE ACCELERATOR WHILE I HAD SECRETLY SHOWN GREAT INTEREST IN DECADEOLOGY AND TIME TRAVEL AS A WHOLE. YOU WERE SO INCREDIBLY DISMISSIVE UNTIL I PERSUADED YOU TO CREATE SONDER AND BUILD OUR TEAM. DON’T FORGET ALL OF THIS!! 

SIGNED, DR. ORFF

Caaaarrrrlllll!!!!! - Dr. Korsakov